Whats in a word?
I think the words we use both inwardly to ourselves and outwardly to anyone who’ll listen can reveal a great deal. Words can alter our mood, they can comfort, reassure, express love or be the source of conflict and grief when misunderstood or misinterpreted, and much more besides.
There are many words that I avoid as often as I can because of where they take me, so to speak…
Nice – Oprah Winfrey was reported to have said ‘Call me anything you like but don’t call me nice!’ I completely echo her sentiments. Nice to me conjures up insipid ambivalence that smacks of people-pleasing. But hey, that’s just my view. (I do quite like ‘Nice’ biscuits though!)
Trying – A few years ago at a 10 day workshop, I was verbally attacked in a surprising and vicious way by another participant. I was knocked sideways for a mo and left a bit shaken. Help I thought. I recalled the incident to a trainer.
What were you doing at the time? She enquired.
I was simply trying to love her, I replied.
Ahh…then you didn’t actually love her because you either love her or you don’t, there’s no such thing as trying to.
The trainer was spot on. This person had been pushing my buttons for the whole workshop and the truth was that I was struggling to even like her, let alone love her.
To my mind the word trying is a cop-out. We’re either doing something or we’re not.
Should…must…have to – Just check out how you feel when you use these words to yourself. Notice, if you use them when speaking to others, how they respond.
Here are some words that I believe hold great power:
I Love You. I’m Sorry. Forgive Me. Thank You.
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