Shame ~ unearthed
The vital and irrefutable connection between mind, body and spirit is in full evidence today as I prepare to attend a workshop tomorrow called ‘Shame on You’. It would seem in preparation for what awaits me; my body is having a good clear out- for the want of another… err … less delicate expression.
Shame is such an insidious emotion that lurks in the darkest recesses of our psyche and yet has a profound effect upon our everyday lives. I am more than aware that despite being up-beat, positive and out going, there are areas in my life that are deeply influenced by shame.
Shame is experienced as profound inner torment, a sickness of the soul that ensures that our relationships become emotionally ruptured and are eventually destroyed.
I couldn’t agree more, which is why I’m taking my courage in both hands as I travel to the deepest darkest parts of my soul to discover and release hidden, disruptive shame.
“To feel shame is to feel seen in a painfully diminished sense. The self feels exposed both to itself and to anyone else present. It is this sudden, unexpected feeling of exposure and accompanying self-consciousness that characterises the essential nature of the affect of shame. Contained in the experience of shame is the piercing awareness of ourselves as fundamentally deficient in some vital way as a human being.” Gershen Kaufman
Debbie Ford says this…
“I can’t help but be present to how mean we are to our most precious selves. My heart aches thinking about the years, months, weeks, days, hours, and minutes that we spend thinking negative thoughts, dwelling on painful experiences and repeating old patterns. If we truly are going for a better life — more love, more peace, more fun, more intimacy, more success, more money, more anything good — then we must un conceal what prevents us from feeling worthy of receiving the gifts that we all deserve. So today is the day when you can begin to admit the truth that you might be the culprit who is keeping yourself from having it all.
Take this test:
1. Do you say more than five negative things to yourself each day?
2. Do you think negative thoughts about your life, your body, your talent or your future? (Tell the truth!)
3. Are there regrets from more than a month ago stored in your body?
4. Are you carrying resentment toward someone from your past who has hurt, betrayed or caused you pain in some way?
5. Do you keep your mouth shut when you want to speak up?
6. Do you say “Yes” when you mean “No” more than twice a week?
7. Do you eat foods that make you feel bad or have you wishing you had made a better choice?
8. Have you been working on a goal for more than a year with no plan, no support structure or no confidence that you can really fulfil it?
9. Do you spend more time dwelling in the past than living in the present?
10. Do you constantly wish for something that you don’t have?
If you answered yes to three or more of these questions, I’d like you to consider that you are participating in self-violation ~ crimes against yourself ~ mean, cruel, hurtful and dishonouring acts which cause you to shrink in the face of greatness and rob you of living a life you love.
As a self-violator, you are the one who continues the self-abuse. You are the one who hurts yourself with your thoughts, your words, your actions or your non-actions. And you are the ONLY one who can take responsibility, take back your power and change self-violation to self-love, self-care self-respect, self-dignity and self-success.”
See you on the other side…
Love, Light and peace to you, my dear friends.
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