Siblings…who’d have ’em? Well…I would, if I could!
I have a troubled relationship with my siblings. I’m greatly saddened that neither appears to want me in their lives. This doesn’t sit well with me. There’s a gaping hole in my heart. But I accept that this is their choice and for a moment, mine also. When people ask me why we are all estranged, I’m stumped for the truth of the matter.
The spiritual teacher Emmet Fox once said ‘Our resentments bind us to the person with a cord stronger than steel’. Now it’s a mystery to me why would we want to be bound by a cord stronger than steel to the person who has hurt us, betrayed us, lied to us or has broken our hearts? How insane is that? By clinging to our resentments, we rob ourselves of our power, our peace of mind and our ability to create ourselves anew.
We hold on to our resentments, our grievances, only when we are still trying to prove that we are right and someone else is wrong. Chuck Spezzano would say… ‘Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?’ And … ‘Why are you using them to hold yourself back?’
There maybe many reasons we tell ourselves (or kid ourselves) why we hold on to our resentments. But no matter what the reason, if we want to move on, if we want a life greater than the one we have right now in this moment, we must forgive.
As a way forward for my own peace of mind and because my mission in life is to be happy, I’ll forgive them and myself for all the wasted years, for all the unspoken anger and resentment, for all the disappointment. I’m willing to be wrong about anything and everything I perceived. In my heart I know I love my siblings dearly and unconditional. So I will accept them where they are today but I’ll continue to act as if I have the most loving, supportive and kindest brother and sister that any girl could wish for. If I have no expectations for how they will respond to me then I can’t be disappointed…can I?
Bryon Katie in her great teachings called The Work would ask… ‘Who would you be without that thought?’
So to my darling Brothers (one in spirit) and my beloved Sister I say:
I love you
Please forgive me
In light and Love go well dear friends.
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